A pompous army surgeon was sent to a recruiting depot in England to examine a number of lads who had taken the queen's shilling*. His overbearing manner so frightened one recruit that he was unable to answer the first question as to his name. "Why, I believe the fellow is stone-deaf!" exclaimed the doctor. Taking out his watch, he held it to the left ear of the recruit, saying, "Can you hear that ticking?" The youth shook his head. The watch was applied to the other ear, with the same effect. "What do you mean by enlisting when you're stone-deaf?" the doctor snapped. "Why, you can't even hear the ticking of a watch held within an inch of your ear!"
Then the worm turned. "Yah, yah! It's not going!"
When the doctor held the watch to his own ear and found that it had indeed stopped, his feelings were too powerful to be expressed.
一個自大的軍醫奉命，到英格蘭一新兵招募站，給應徵的年輕人檢驗體格。一個新兵被他的凌人盛氣所懾，連第一個問題「你叫什麼名字」都不能回答。那軍醫沒好氣說：「嘿，這傢伙看來是聾的！」他拿出手錶，放到新兵的左耳邊，問道：「聽見滴答聲嗎？」那年輕人搖搖頭。手錶放到他右耳邊，結果也是一樣。那軍醫厲聲說：「你是聾的，怎麼還要應徵入伍？手錶放在你耳邊一英寸之內，你都聽不見滴答聲！」
那可憐的小伙子終於還擊。「哼，哼，你的手錶停了！」
軍醫把手錶拿到自己耳邊一聽，發覺果然停了。他這時的脾氣，可真難以言宣。
*從前，英軍招兵，應徵入伍者會獲一先令，所以，to take the king's / queen's shilling（領取國王／女王的一先令）即「應徵當兵」。