In every regiment, on the outbreak of war, there are men who do not wish to go to the battlefield. Some of them frankly acknowledge that they are cowards, and they are very cunning in devising means to ensure their being left behind.
One man of this kind complained of rheumatism. "Where?" asked the doctor. "In my right arm," replied the soldier. "I can only raise it this height" -- and he put it up about two inches, apparently with a great effort. "Well," said the doctor -- a sly old bird, by the way -- "you have got it pretty bad. You certainly cannot go to the war in that condition. How high could you raise it before you got the rheumatism?" "Oh, about that height, sir," responded the soldier, as he raised his right hand above his head. Needless to say, he went to the war!
戰爭一爆發，各軍團總有些人不想赴戰場，更有些坦然承認自己是懦夫，會出盡奇謀，務求留在後方。
有一個這樣的士兵說自己患風濕症。醫生問：「那裏風濕？」那士兵回答：「右手，只能擡到這麼高。」他似乎很不容易，才把右手擡高了兩英寸。那醫生是隻老狐狸，說道：「嗯，風濕這麼嚴重，一定不能上戰場了。你患風濕症之前，右手可以擡得多高？」那士兵把右手擡到頭頂之上，回答說：「啊，大約有這麼高。」不用說，他最後上了戰場。