鄧永鏘（DavidTang）中國會、上海灘創辦人
Itwasmybirthdaythisweek.Iturned53.Idon'tfeelold,butIdon'tfeelyoung.Itisperhapsbestnottothinktoomuchaboutageing!Onthewhole,Iratherdislikebirthdayorbirthdaycelebrations.Iprefertokeepbirthdaysquiet,withnofuss.Butitistheonedayoftheyearwhenpsychologically,wefeelslightlydifferent.Itoftenmakesuspauseforthought.Allweek,IhavebeenthinkingabouthowincrediblyfortunateIhavebeentohaveledthelifeIhaveled.AllofmyfamilycouldnotreallyhavegivenmemorelovethatIcouldaskorwishfor.Thisisthegreatestblessingonecanhaveonearth:aclosefamilywhichbindsusalltogether.ThenIhavesomeincrediblefriends-warm,loyal,generous,forgiving,witty,laughing,loving,andcaring.Inevertakeforgrantedtheirfriendships.SoIgooutofmywaytotreasuretheirwarmth,loyalty,generosity,forgiveness,wit,laughter,loveandcare.Theyarethestuffoflife.Butlifeisalsofrail,andoften,ourfriendshipsaretested.Wegetintotrouble;ourfriendsgetintotrouble.Atthesetimes,Ialwaystrytoremembernottobejudgmental.Atdifficulttimesoverfriendships,itisperhapsmostimportanttorememberandexerciseloyalty.Sometimes,itisnoteasy.Butthatispreciselywhenweshouldshowourgreatestmagnanimity.
MilesJackson-Lipkinisanoldfriendofmine.Iknewhimwhenhewasahigh-courtjudge.Ihadalwayslikedhim,evenifhewasalittlepompous.Buthewaskindtome.Andwhenhegotintotrouble,Iwasnottheretojudgewhathemighthavedonethisorthatwrongly.Iwastheresimplyashisfriend.Ivisitedhimatprisonandjusttalkedtohimasafriend-ifonlytodistracthisincarceration.AndIwillalwaystreathimasafriend.ConradBlackisanotherfriendofminewhohasfallenonhardtimes.Buthewasagoodfriend,andexceedinglygeneroustomeasafriend.Soagain,Iamnotaroundtojudgehimonwhathemightormightnothavedoneunderthelaw.Iammerelyaroundasafriendofhis.AndIwillalwayskeepourfriendship.Ifhewillreceivemeinprison,Iwilldefinitelyvisithim.
InHongKong,thereisfartoooftenatendencytodropfriendships.Ithappensbecauseweliveinaruthlesssocietythatcountswealthandstatusaboveallelse.Idohopewecanalltrytosoftenthathardandpragmaticattitude.OfcoursethisisnotpeculiartoHongKong.Ithappensallovertheworld.Friendsaredroppedassoonastheyarenotinapositiontoofferusanything,potentialorotherwise.SoIadmirethosewhocountloyaltyamongstfriendsasoneofthemostimportantvirtuesinlife.Iteachmychildrenallthetimethatloyaltyisonethingtheyshouldneverforget.Andittakesstrengthandcourageandkindnesstoembraceloyalty.Yetitisthedefiningfeatureoffriendship.OnthefewoccasionswhenIhavedroppedmyfriends,forwhateverreasons,myguiltalwaysreturnstohauntmefordesertingloyalty.
Soonmybirthday,andIhopeonallofyourownbirthdays,Ipaytributetoloyalfriends.ItakestockoftheadvancingyearsinwhichIshouldgoonaccumulatingloyalty.Iwouldneverforgetthefilm"TheKillingField"inwhichtheAmericanreturnedtoVietnamtoseekouthisoldfriendoutofsheerloyalty.Theconcludingsequenceofthismovieinwhichhefinallyfindshisfriendandhowheembraceshimwillalwaysremainindeliblyinmymindasoneofthemostmovingimagesoflife'sloyalty.IrecallseeingthefilmwithmygreatfriendSimonMurraywhoalsovaluesloyaltyagreatdeal.HeandIjustsatinourcinemaseats,transfixedwithemotions,cryingasifwewerechildren!YetMurrayisatoughman,havingbeenaForeignLegionnaire.Andashewept,Iwasn'tashamedtoeither.IdidtellhimthatinChinese,wesay"英雄流血不流淚".Butforachange,IthinkthisChineseidiomdidnotapply!
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逢周日刊出