alwaysonsunday:"Ilikemencrying"<br>

alwaysonsunday:"Ilikemencrying"

鄧永鏘(DavidTang)
中國會、上海灘創辦人

SimonMurray(馬世民)andIsattogetherweeping.Tearswererollingdownourcheeks.Bothofuswereveryemotional.Wehadjustwatched"TheKillingFields"andtheendsequencewasthestuffoflachrymals.TheAmericanjournalisthadreturnedtoseehisCambodianfriend.Itwasamarvellousexampleofcomradeshipandfriendship.Anditwasatruestory,chokedwithsadness.
Eventually,thecinemalitupandwedriedourfacesandfeltahugesighofrelief.Itwasthatamazingfeelingoflettingourselvesgo-toclearoursystemandunblocksomeofourinneremotions.AndIhavealwaysfeltthistobethetherapeuticpoweroftears.Cryingisanextraordinarykindofbehaviour.Animalsdonotcryaswehumansdo.Peopletalkaboutcrocodiletears,butiftheyreallyshedthemtoentraptheirpreys,thentheyclearlydonotcryforthesamereasonaswedo.
Ionceboughtabookcalled"Crying".Itdescribedallthedifferentkindsoftears.Italsosetouttoexplainhowandwhywecry.Unfortunately,Ican'tfindthebookanymoreamidstthethousandsofvolumesIhave.Thatdesperateandirritatingsenseoflossisenoughtomakemecry!ButIdorememberbeingunconvincedbyalltheargumentsinthebook.Ibelievewecrybecauseourinnersensesaremoved-assimpleasthat.Andfilmsandbookshavethatstimulatingeffectbecausewhenwewatchafilmorreadabook,weourselvesoftenbecomesubmergedinthestoriesandwebecomeintimateobservers,closeenoughtofeellikethoseaboutwhomwewatchorread.

Musicalsocarriesastrongeffectonmovingoursenses.Someonesaidthatmusicistooprecisetobeexpressedinwords.Howright!Itpiercesoursenses.IwouldalwaysrememberlisteningforthefirsttimetoRachmaninoff'ssecondsymphonyattheRoyalFestivalHallinLondonwithAndr囗PrevinandtheLondonSymphonyOrchestra.Whenthethirdmovementcame,Ijustcouldnotholdbackmytears.Iwasayoungmanattheendofmyuniversitydays.Ihadfalleninandoutoflove.ThesoundsofRachmaninoffwentstraightthroughmyheart,andlikeahopelessromantic,Iweptwithafeelingofdenial.Yetattheend,therewasalsoasenseofjoywhichoftencomesafteragoodcry.Inmusicalterms,Beethoven'slastsymphonyisagoodreflectionofwhatcryingisallabout-afteragonizingpassagesofbeautifulandmovingsoundscomesthelastmovement,ingloriouschorusunderthebannerof"OdetoJoy".Itisaparadigmoftriumph,atrumpetofreliefandacelebrationofhappiness.That'swhatmusicdoes,andthat'swhyitisapreciousthingtobeabletoplayaninstrument.IplaythepianoandIplayitwheneverIcan,notonlytorelax,butalsotoenjoytheexperienceofmakingsoundswhich,likewordsinabookorasequenceinafilm,isabletoliftourspirits.

Wealsobecomebetterpeoplewhenwebecomemoreconsciousaboutcrying.Itregistershumblenessandveryoccasionallybringsoutourcharitableinstincts.That'swhywhenweseeimagesoffamineorwarorsufferingingeneral,wecryandwanttodosomethingaboutitall.Itmakesusdothingswhichwemightnototherwisedoinournormallives.
ThereisaChinesesayingthat"Aherowouldratherbleedthancry"(英雄流血不流淚).Itendtodisagree.Heroesdocry.Theyoughttocry.Theyshouldnothidetheiremotions.Leadershiporheroismshouldnotprecludecrying.Mencry.Itisnotunmasculinetodoso.Ilikemencrying.Itshowstheyhaveheightenedsensitivities.Mindyou,womentendtocrymoreeasily.Sometimestheycrytoomuch!Iamsureitisabiologicalfact.Butoneshouldnotconcludethatitisfemininetocry.It'snot.IfSimonMurray,whowasaForeignLegionnaireandafairlytoughcookiewhobecametheoldestmantowalktotheSouthPoleunaided,cries,thenIamingoodcompanywhenIblubb!Longlivethoseofuswhocry!