鄧永鏘（DavidTang）中國會、上海灘創辦人
IwasdetainedatMiamiairportlastweek.Ididn'tknowwhy.IhadbeentoAmericaathousandtimes.Evenafter9/11,whenfingerprintingbecamenecessary,Ialwaysgotthroughwithoutanyproblem.Myvisa,inaBritishpassport,wasallinorder.Itwasnotanicefeeling.Iwasledintoaroomwithabout50others.Theyalllookedrathergloomy.OtherthanonefatCaucasian,therestwereeitherofAfricanorCentralAmericancomplexion.Iwastoldtositdownbyaratherofficiouswomanintightuniformwithseveralgoldbadges.Ilookedattheclock:12:30p.m.IwasresignedtothefactthatIwouldbethereforatleastacoupleofhours.Itwouldjustbelikeaboringflightdelay,exceptthatitwasworse,becauseIknewIwouldbeinterrogated.ThelasttimeIwasdetainedatimmigrationhappenedinNairobiovertwentyyearsago.TheofficerhadaskedmeifIhadhadayellowfeverinjection.Iflippantlyreplied,"Idon'tneedit.IAMyellow".Thejokedidnotgodownwell.Iwasledtoasmalldarkroom.ThereIsatforagood2hoursbeforeIgotaway.Thistime,Iremindedmyselfnottobefunny.Ilookedroundtheroomagain:everyonelookednervous,andnoneofthemlookedfunny.Twoofthemwereatthecounteransweringquestions.Twootherswereledawayintoacorridorwhichnodoubthad"consultation"rooms.Ihatedthewait.Ihatedthedetention.
Mymobilephonerang.Ianswereditdiscreetly.Butimmediately,Icaughttheeyeofanotherfiercelookingofficer.Hescreweduphisfaceandwaggedhisfinger.Ihadtohangup.Itwaslikebeingtoldoffatschool.Ifeltimprisoned.IsuddenlyhatedAmerica.Ihalfsaidtomyselfthatthisundignifiedarrivalwillmakemethinktwicebeforecomingagain.IthoughtitwasaparadoxthatAmericashouldbeconsideredthefreestcountryintheworld.Yet,weallhavetowalkbare-footacrossmetaldetectorsateveryairportorbefirmlyshoutedatbysecurityofficers.Weallhavetobehavelikeschoolchildren.
Mynamewascalled.Icouldn'tbelievethatithadonlybeenhalf-an-hour.Icertainlyhadbeenpushedtothefrontofthequeue.Thewomanofficersaidnothingbehindthecounter.Shestampedmypassportandreturnedittome.Iaskedwhatwaswrongwithit?Shesaidshecouldn'tsay.Iwasn'tabouttoargue.Ifled.Iwentintotheluggagehallandsawmysuitcasestandingaloneforlornlyinthemiddle.Iwasrelievedtobeletoff,evenifirritatedbythefactthattherehadbeennothingwrong.Butmycomplacencywaspremature.Atcustoms,Iwasdirectedtothesearchcounter.Icouldhardlybelievemyluck.Idon'tthinkIhadeverbeenstoppedatcustomsbefore.Thecustomofficerwasastrongmanof6feet4.HetoweredabovemeandaskedwhyIhadcometoMiami.Isaidtovisitafriend.Actually,Iwasvisiting,intransit,thenewhotelSetaibuiltbymygeniusfriend,AdrianZecha,whostartedtheunfaultableAmanGroupattheageof55.Goodforhim.
Thecustomofficerwentinfrontofacomputer.Hestartedtypingfuriouslyonthekeyboard.Godonlyknewwhathewasrecording.Icouldn'tbelievethissecondarrest.Hecontinuedtotypeandcouldhavewrittenanessay.Hethenhandedmebackthepassportandwavedmepass.Again,Iaskediftherehadbeenanythingwrong."No,"herepliedbluntly.Again,IthoughtIshouldasknomoreandjustgetout.Icouldn'twait.
Thefunnyfeeling,however,wasthatonceIgotoutoftheairport,Ifeltincrediblyfree.ThereisaninnatesenseoffreedominAmerica.Yet,it'sannoying.ItsbordersarenowpatrolledbyhumanAlsatians,andtogetavisarequireswaitingformonthsforaninterviewwhichmakesyoufeelsmallandunworthyand"you-should-be-so-lucky-to-be-going-to-America".Irritatingyes-justlikeStarbucks(sincewhenhaveAmericansknownhowtomakecoffee?)andMcDonald's(gross)andWal-Mart(evengrosser).ButAmericadidsaveusfromevilaggressionsintheSecondWorldWar,andis,onthewhole,abenevolentworldpoliceman.AmericansMEANwell.It'sjustthattheydoitBADLY.It'sacountryofoxymorons.