"Youmoron"

"Youmoron"

鄧永鏘(DavidTang) 中國會、上海灘創辦人

Someofyoumighthavecheated.Onereaderconfessedthathesimplylookeduptheinternetunder"irregularplurals".SoIamnotsurehowmanyofyougenuinelyonyourownsentinthecorrectsolutiontomyquizlastweek,inwhichIaskedforapluralthatwasderivedfromitssingularbytheadditionoftheletter"c".Over50ofyoucorrectlyidentified"dice"from"die".5ofyouconfesseddefeatandpleadedforenlightenment.7ofyousentinamazinglywronganswers-Ihad"class"from"lass","clone"from"lone",andbestofall"maniac"from"mania".Thislastentrymademelaughmostand,therefore,wasthebest.Iftherehadbeenaprize,Iwouldhaveawardedittothisincorrectsolution.
Talkingofprizes,4ofyouaskedifyoudeservedprizes.HowtypicallyHongKong!Suchgreed!Whenwillwecometorealizethatclaimingrewardisanauseatingpast-time?Andvanityreareditsuglyheadwhen3ofyouaskediftheywerethefirstonestogetitrightoutofthe"thousand"Ihadasked,andfromnoneofwhomIevergotthecorrectsolution.Iwasofcourseusingahyperbole,whichisanexaggeration.Imighthavetheaskedsamequestiontoafew,buthardlyathousandliterally.Soitwasinterestingtoseereadersbeingseizedbyasenseofimportancetothinktheymighthavebeensuperior!Nonetheless,forallthegenuineandsimplereaderswhogotitright,Iwasexceedinglygratified.Thefirstsolutionarrivedat2:54a.m.ontheday-fromashiftworker.
Sointhesamespirit,Iaminclinedtosetonemorequizintwoparts.Pleasefind:-

1.Awordinwhichallthevowelsappearinthesamesequenceasthealphabet;and
2.awordwithwhichnootherwordrhymes.
Thistime,pleasetryjustsendingin2wordsassolutionsforthe2questions-novanity,nogreed,noself-importance,andnointernetplease!IamafraidasmuchasIliketoofferaprize,IamunabletodosoasIwillbebreakingthelawwithoutalicence!Iknowit'spathetic,butthereitis.Noticethephrase"thereitis".Youshouldrealizethatthisisanidiomwhichisacharacteristicstyleusedinalanguage.Itsmeaningisoftennotclearfromthewordsthemselvesandcanonlybeunderstoodasawhole."Thereitis"doesnotpointtoanything.Itisasighofresignation.Sois"changeofheart",anotheridiom.Itreallymeansachangeofthespiritualmindandnotthephysicalheart.Andtheonlywayinwhichyoucanlearnidiomsandbeabletousethemiswhenyouseethemincontextafterlearningtheirmeaningsostensively.
Andsowecomebacktomygoldenruleaboutlearningalanguage,especiallyEnglishwhichisawashwithidioms:youmustlearntheUSEofwords,andthatlearningtheirindividualmeaningsalonewillnotbeenoughandoftenuseless.Someofyouwill,therefore,experiencetheirritationofknowingthemeaningsofmorewordsthanyouwouldneedandyetunabletouttersentencesfluentlyorwritefluently.ButthatiswhatwouldhappenifyouweretoconcentrateonwhatIcallpiecemeallearning-learningfromwordsandphrasesalone,apracticeratherpervasiveinHongKongandonewhichIfindabitofawasteoftime.

Ipromiseyou:ifyouwanttospeakandwritefluentlyinEnglish,goandreadasmuchasyoucan,andspeakasmuchasyoucan,andwriteasmuchasyoucan.Onlypracticeinusagewilleverbringyouimprovement.Pouringoverincidentalarticlesorlessonsonindividualwordsorphrases,asiftheywerethatoldtelevisionprogramme"每日一字"(whichImuchenjoyed,butcouldneverrememberathing),isnoteffectiveforlearning.Otherwise,youwillgothroughabitter-sweetexperience-ontheonehand,thinkingsweetlythatyouarelearningandimprovingyourEnglish;whilstinreality,youneverenduprememberinganythingand,therefore,feelingbitterlyaboutthewasteoftime."Bitter-sweet"isanoxymoron,whichisthegroupingofseeminglycontradictorywords.Itisafavouritewordofminebecauseofthereferenceto"moron",whichisagreatwordwithwhichtoputsomeonedown.Nexttimeyouwishtolashoutonsomeonestupid,tryusing"Youmoron"!