鄧永鏘（DavidTang）
中國會、上海灘創辦人
周梁淑怡annoysme.Shesays"atthispresentmomentintime".Whatshemeansisofcourse"atpresent".Sosheuttersatautologywhichisarepetition.Sheuses6wordstosay2words.Infact,shecansaywhatshemeansbyonlyoneword:"now".
Thereareotherirritatingexamplesoftautology:"oneaftertheotherinsuccession"or"Iherebyenclose",afavouriteoflawyers.Even"foryourinformation"or"Iwouldliketosaythat"areoftentautologous.Agoodeditorwillalwayslookoutfortautologies,especiallyinwritingsbythosewhothinktheyneedtowritemorewordstobegood.Ihatetautologies.
Words:aren'ttheywonderful?Thereareallsortsofinterestingconstructionofwords.Letuslookatafewmore.
Recently,Ireferredtopalindromes.Youwillremembertheyarewordsorphrasesthatreadthesameforwardsandbackwards.Theyarefun.Howabout"Sexatnoontaxes"?Idon'tknowifitdoes,becauseIdon'tremembereverhavingsexatnoon!Butitisagoodpalindrome.Nothingcan,however,beat:"Satan,oscillatemymetallicsonatas"!Whatamusicdevil.
Whatoflitotes?Thisisafigureofspeechinwhichanaffirmativeisexpressedbythenegativeofthecontrary.Inotherwords,twonegativesmakingapositive.Buttheeffectistomakeanunderstatement.So"IamnotsureifIcannotwrite",meaningIcanwrite.Or"Idon'tbelievethatTungChee-wahdidnotknowthathewassacked".Itmeansthatheknewhewassacked!
Thenthereistheonomatopoeia.Thisisformedbyanimitationofthesoundassociatedwiththethingdescribed.Hence"thecatmiaows",orthe"cowmoos".Theverb"sizzles"in"thesteaksizzlesonthegrill"isalsoanonomatopoeia.Ifyouwanttomeetanabundanceofonomatopoeias,tryreadingDylanThomas'sfamous"UnderMilkWood"ortheunreadable"Finnegan'sWake"byJamesJoyce.Youwillfinishwithasymphonyofsoundsinyourmind!TheynearlydrovememadwhenItriedthem.
AnotherfunwordinEnglishisthezeugma.Itusesthesameverbtoapplytotwonounsindifferentsenses.Oftentheresultisamusing.So"Hejumpedtoconclusionandoutthewindow",or"hestretchedhisarmsandhisimagination"or"herunsunderthecanopyandforcover".Theeffectofthezeugmaisarresting.
ButmyfavouritefunwordinEnglishistheanagram:theformingofanotherwordwiththesameletters.IloveanagramsbecauseIlovedoingcrypticcrosswordswhichIdofaithfullyeveryday.Crosswordsarefullofanagrams.ThebestoneIcameacrossrecentlywas"BritneySpears"as"Presbyterians".Therearealsosoextraordinaryones:-
Sevendesigners→eveningdresses
Englebert→greenbelt
NotChloeBarrett→CharlotteBronte
WeshouldappreciatethatEnglishwordsandletterscanberatherfun,andwecanlearnandimproveourEnglishbybeingfun.ForgetreadingtheyawningSouthChinaMorningPost.Useyourtimetodiscovermoreormakeupyourselvessometautologiesorpalindromesorlitotesesorzeugmasoranagrams.Wordacrobaticsareagreatwaytolearnbecausetheyareinterestingenoughtomakeyourememberthem.Youcanalsoshowthemoff.Theyareveryusefulwithgirls.Ihadhadmuchsuccesswithmypreparedknowledgeofthesewordgames.Girlslovethem.Theythinkyouareinterestingandclever.Trythemifyouhaveanewdate!Theyevenworkonwives.Whenyouareboredinbed,say,youcanexciteyourmarriagebytellingyourwifesomeoftheseinterestingwordsandstructures.Shemightlaugh.Anditisimportanttomakeyourwifelaugh.Isupposeifyouareawomanreader,youmightmakeyourhusbandlaugh.Sogoforit,whateveryourgender!
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Inowhaveawordquizforyouall.Ihaveprobablytesteditonathousandpeople.Butnobodyhaseversolvedit.Sowhydon'tyoutry:canyouthinkofawordinEnglishwhosepluralisderivedfromtheadditionoftheletter"c"tothesingularform?Inotherwords,thinkofawordinsingular.Thenaddtheletter"c"toit,andthewordbecomesitsplural.Yourcorrectsolutiontobee-mailedtodwctang@yahoo.com.Applereaders,impressme!