DavidTang（鄧永鏘）
Mygrandmotherwasblindinthelastthreeyearsofherlife.YethereyesightbeforehercataractwastheclearestofanyoneIhadeverknown.Itsawwithclaritytheconsumedselfishnessofherhusband,mygrandfather,whomshesomehowacceptedwithwillingnessandsubmission.Shenevercomplainedthroughoutherentirelife;shenevereverlosthertemperinhereight-sevenyears,andnograndsononearthcouldhavehopedforadearerorashinierexampleofselflessness,magnanimityandlove.IadoredherandwhenIthinkofhernow,especiallyinmymorepensivemoments,Isecretlycryalittleinmyremembranceofhercareformeandmybrother,andmostofall,thetendernessofherfortitudewhichIhavegrowntoappreciateproperlyonlyaftersheleftthisunfairworld.
Mygrandmotherwasanextraordinarywomanofhergenerationthatwasdominatedbymenwhoonlycaredforthemselves.Shewasamostbeautifulwoman.Heralmondfaceexudedarougethatframedapairofpiercingblackeyesandperfectlycurvedlipsthatsatbelowanuncommonlynarrownose,withaprominentridgethatmighthavebeenOccidental.Mygrandfatherobviouslylovedherbeautyandmorewhensheproducedasonandheirwhomhisfirsttwowiveswerenotableto.Foramoment,mygrandmotherenjoyedtheblissofafavouredwomaninsocietywheresuchthingsmattered.
Thencamethedaywhenmyfather,notyetone-year-old,becameill.Hisfeverrefusedtogoandthedoctorthoughthewouldn'tmakeitthrough.Mygrandfatherbecamedistressedandalarmedattheunmentionableprospectofaprematuredeathofhisonlyson.Mygreat-grandmotherwasalsoupset.Inordertocomforthimandinherownbeliefthatmyfatherwoulddie,sheliedtomygrandfatherthatheshouldnotgrievebecauseourfamilysoothsayerhadalreadydeterminedthatmyfatherwould"blacken"mygrandfather'slife.Itwasalietoldoutofkindliness,butithadafar-reachingconsequenceonmywholefamily.Theproblemcamewhenmyfatherrecoveredmiraculously.Itwas,however,toolate.Mygrandfathernowconsideredhissonnotonlyasablacksheep,butonewhomustnotbenearhimlesthisownlifewouldbecomeadverselyaffected.Thatnight,whenmyfather'srecoveryshouldhavebeenamomentofrejoicing,mygrandfathersenthimandmygrandmotherawayfromhishouse.Fromthatmoment,mygrandfatherneveraskedtoseeeitherofthemeveragain.
Itwasamonstrouspieceofselfishnessandcallousness.YethecametobeidentifiedasoneoftheColony'sgreatestphilanthropists,symbolizingthepillarsofgenerosityandcare.Mygrandmotherwasnot,alas,tobeabeneficiary.Shewasshunnedbyhimforever.Stillsheneverspokebitterlyaboutherhusband.Onthecontrary,shedevotedherwholelifewiththeTangfamily.WhenmyparentsfirstemigratedtoEngland,shetookchargeofmybrotherandmefortwoyears.Wehadnomoney.Mygrandfatherprovidedverylittleformygrandmother.Halfofhermeagreincomewasalreadyusedtorepayingmyfather'sdebtswhichheleftbehind,andshehadperhapsacoupleofthousanddollarsamonthwithwhichtomanage.Wecouldn'taffordtorentaflatandbecamelodgersinaroomtoadistantrelative.Wehadabunkbedinthecorner:mybrotherandIsleptontop,ourgrandmotherbelow.Istillrememberthesteelframeinshiningpurplebecauseitwasthemostprominentthinginourcrammedsquareroom.
Itwasveryhotinthesummer,buttherewasnoquestionthatwecouldaffordair-conditioning,andwehadtomakedowithasmallelectricfan.Sharingitonabunkwasnoteasy,butIalwaysrememberhowmyselflessgrandmotheralwaysproppeditupformybrotherandme.Inthecoolingofthehumidairduringthenight,Iwouldwakeinsemi-darknessandlookdowninthebunktoseemygrandmothergentlysweatinginhersleepandwoulddivertthefantowardsheroutofguiltandrespect.
AndsoIadoredmygrandmotherevenifshenevertaughtmeliteraturenorartnorthephilosophyoflife.Inhersilentsubmissiontolife,inherceaselesscareforus,inhertotalforgivenessofmen,IlearnedmorefromheraboutlivinglifethananywriterIhavereadoranypersonIhaveevermet.Herlessonswereallstampedwithhonestyandsolicitudeandloveandcompassionandaboveall,anindomitablespiritofcourage----life-longcouragewhich,dayinanddayout,imprintsitselfonherownseeminglyuneventfulbuthugelymeaningfullife.Sheis,forme,aparadigmofhumandecency.
IwillalwaysrememberourfirstChristmasdinnerwithoutourparents.Shetookmybrotherandmeouttoarestaurantasatreatandordereduskingprawns,assheknewwelikedthembutcouldnotaffordtohavenormally.Istillrememberthetwodishescameto$30,abudgetforawholeday.MybrotherandIlovedthetasteandweremuchenjoyingituntilIsawthatmygrandmotherhadonlyorderedforherselfporkriceat$3.Itwasthestuffoflachrymals,andahumblingexperiencewithhumility,herhumility.
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作者為中國會創辦人，文章隔星期一刊出